Is Honesty The Best Policy?

Boa Tarde!

This is the first official post on "Crasslist." I transferred the previous posts from "Craigs Loss" over, so they don't quite count as fresh. Think of them as day-old bread from the bakery or slightly ripe bananas from the supermarket. They're still edible, but don't let them sit for too much longer. 

Anyway, here's a pretty solid Craigslist ad (I'm pretty sure you can click on the image, where it will appear bigger and in a new window):

It's actually a fairly well-written ad. It uses descriptive language. The poster has a quasi-decent grasp on how to use HTML codes, at least those used for Craigslist. It's not overly cluttered. Robin Williams (the web designer, not the comedian/actor) would be proud.

 My only gripe is near the end of the post. They should have included the word "is" in the sentence, "I would prefer a location easily accessible by SEPTA and affordable/safe." It should read, "I would prefer a location easily accessible by SEPTA and is affordable/safe." But I'm not going to judge them...much.

One more thing you should know...

...I posted that ad.

Is it self-serving to critique my own ad using such a shameless ruse? Possibly. I hope this doesn't damage my credibility with my readers (of which I have so many :P). This is quite likely the last time I'll do something like that. But since it's my own blog, giving me creative control, I figured it wouldn't hurt...just this once. The ad is true, by the way. I am looking for a different housing situation. Contact me only if you can handle my awesomeness.

Until next time...

Open House...Anyone Interested?

I've come across this gem on a consistent basis. The poster, apparently a middle-aged fellow gay, is looking for another roommate in his South Philly home. 

This one is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel...with a M1 Abrams Tank. It's rife with so many spelling, grammatical, and other errors, it's almost too easy. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to have fun with it. 

Here is the ad, in all its splendor (my apologies for the size of the image, but I'm fairly new to all these technological advancements):

OHMIGODWHERETOBEGIN?? Let me slow down and take a breath.

Okay, I'm ready now. First, let's start with the fact THAT ALMOST THE ENTIRE POST IS WRITTEN IN CAPS. This guy is either REALLY excited or he took a shit ton of uppers before, during, and possibly after writing this ad. It's the equivalent of someone screaming and rambling at the same damn time. It may be entertaining, but I'm concerned about this guy's stability. I have my own mental health issues. I'm certainly not going to live somewhere I have to be concerned with my roommate's mental health issues, too. I can't handle that at this time. 

Second, and this is one of my biggest pet peeves, is the use of apostrophes and the letter "s" to pluralize words. NEVER, EVER, EVER USE AN APOSTROPHE-"S" TO PLURALIZE!!!!!! IT IS NEVER OKAY! I can't begin to tell you how not okay this is. Apostrophe-"s" usually makes something possessive (most times it's a proper noun). The only exceptions are words like "its", "yours", "his/hers/theirs/ours," etc. You don't have to use an apostrophe to make it possessive, as it is already possessive. (God help me if I'm wrong. Those familiar with the rules of English, as well as editors/journalists can correct and then mock me.)

Third; the awful and atrocious spelling errors. "THERE" should never be interchanged with "THEIR," and vice versa. What in the hell is "marijuna?" I've never tried that before. Is it a new one? I'm also not familiar with the dog breed named "pitt bull." It's "pit bull." Done. "YOUR" is possessive; "YOU'RE" is a contraction of "you are." At least he spelled "hygiene" correctly. If you're unsure as to the correct spelling, look it up. The poster/landlord obviously has an Internet connection. 

Finally, and most importantly, are the contradictory statements. He claims he doesn't give out personal information over the Internet, yet he posts his phone numbers (which I have redacted). He also has displays the front of the house in the picture, although that might not actually be his house (which would be weird, even by this post's standards). 

My lesson is now complete. Thank you for attending.

On another note, I'm thinking about changing the name of this blog to "Crasslist." I've already registered the address. Which do you prefer? Let me know in the comments section. See ya later!!

Don't Be A Creep/My First Post

Hola, Blogosphere!! Que pasa? 

Okay, we've pretty much exhausted my knowledge of the Spanish language. Although I do like any insult that begins with, "Mira, puta...." (Try that out on your Spanish-speaking friends. I guarantee a swift kick to the groin, or any other areas that induce pain when struck.) Anyway...

The intended purpose of this blog is to take Craigslist ads that are either poorly-written (due to grammatical, punctuational, spelling, and factual errors--or some combination thereof), or are just so ridiculous and/or hysterical, and mercilessly attack them. It's sort of like being the bitchy/snarky group in the corner of a bar; the kind that make fun of someone's outfit. I'm not saying I'm that type of person, although there have been times I wish I were. 

Here's a classic example:

Let's see...where should I begin?

First, I'm sure the website listed in this ad is specifically designed to attract creepy (or otherwise unsavory) individuals. Note the lack of descriptive words, including what constitutes as "creepy," and what is considered to be a "cool" roommate. 

Second, in a twist of irony, the ad itself is creepy. There isn't a whole lot of information in the ad, and there is no contact information, except for the web address. 

Third, where the hell is "Phiilly?" Is it in Southeastern Pennsylvania, or somewhere else? That's a head-scratcher....

You guys get the point. There's no sense in beating the dead....pick a noun. If you guys want to clue me in to Craigslist ads that pique your interest, great! I love it when the work is done for me. I'll even give you credit for it...that, and a dollar, can get you a cup of coffee (except at Starbucks). Hasta luego, putas!!